April 2011
idea;
using mixture of work stress, alcohol, my amazing/awful brain, pain medications, and Frank Sinatra music - give myself dangerous, mutating, Akiraesque power
have reached page five hundred of first verification
attempting to teach myself psychic attack powers
like I will step from the front doors of my building and a bottle will materialize in my hands and I shall praise the name boozahol, the lord bacchus of crush and grape, and yeah I shall drink mightily and partake of this bountiful wonderment of imbibements
2 tags
okay turns out it is 739 pages
I can actually feel the alcoholism in my soul getting ready for the SECOND I get out of work
375 pages to be edited and transcribed and triple checked
ten pages at a time
I can feel the brain cancer now
oh god I hate the sun so much why can’t it be later and be me drinking
March 2011
welp with only a minor hangover and a few regrets...
breakfast time like a motherfucker
bob saget
dont fuck that shit
okkkkkay time to get hooommme
finish ze wine
bar 4??
conspiract theorists
OILN AND ALIENS
AND WATER
I gotta get outta here before someone tells me not to be another brick in the wall
dark sarcasm in the classroom, yo
finding out sailors who like fucking knew the ocean back when the titanic was a tugboat like everlast is like finding a gay man who doesnt like gaga
UNFATHOMABLE
hope nobodt puts on what its like, these old gs might get jiggy with it
WHY DO THEY ALL KNOW THE WORDS TO BLACK JESUS
I would not have anticipated Everlast the salty tune of the shoreless rogue
hhhhheaven freeezes hell cloooses
I am attempting to teach a bunch of old men in...
can leeeaarn to bee hyyoooo man tooo hooo
bar threeeeeeee
singing goin out west
dear vaccerelli, shouldn’t you be sleeping
rather, quite
what are you doing instead
why I’m drinking a beer and trying to remember some french girl’s name who I met once at a party three years ago
well, obviously better than sleep
rather, quite
dressed like dad
=
jeans, matching color suit jacket, white dress shirt open a couple buttons and shiny shoes
on the bus and got checked out by like five gay...
and I happen to be dressed like my dad
weeeeiiiird
off to get slammed and giggle at bobby guap
in the fiiiiiii-diiiiii
my nickname in my apartment is the Doctor because...
but the odd part is…I’m pretty sure none of them watch Doctor Who.
well I’m an idiot jerkface fuckhead deluxo
ugh
just woke up due to loud-ish roommates
well shit I’m awake, time for a drink
AMIRITE
Candice and Sugarman sat outside the doors, waiting patiently. A cool, slick rifle lay between Sugarman’s legs, and Candice held two grenades.
I love you, said Sugarman.
She nodded back.
Candice and Sugarman had met on craigslist. Sugarman, in a drunken stupor, had posted a picture of his penis demanding someone suck it. Candice was the only response. When meeting in person, both were...
'it’s man’s red fire you dumbass'
second verse, dear
herp’d
GIIIVE ME THE POWER OF MAN'S RED FLOWER SO I CAN...
is it just me or does that sound dirty
sense for the imperatives
her: so why are you like that
me: well, I never had any teachers I was attracted to growing up, in school, you know
me: so I always had a problem with authority
her: that makes a marginal amount of sense at best
me: could be said about anyone's formative years
listen to that sound, you can hear it from here. the clockwork holocaust on the other side of the reality scar. the genocide gears. as they turn, hundreds of thousands of lives are snuffed out. everything burns, everything everything. you hear a great ticking, as though it were a great scream. listen to that sound, and don’t hope. just know.
"You don’t have feelings to hurt, Daniel."
oh you know that’s not true
I feel things besides, you know,
rage and boobs
THESE BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE FULL OF HURT...
"You’re so much hotter when you’re a disaster."
isn’t everyone?
bomb threat at my building, evacuated
then bomb goes off
afternoon off, apparently
wonder what the news is gonna say
nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga I’m two hundred percent NIGGA
…awkward ringtone
prevarications of a short girl variety
torie and brittany don’t give a fuck about my gigantic penis
TOO MUCH PERSONA
NOT ENOUGH WILD VINES
vaccerelli secret bajillion and three
the songs I hum under my breath
are often slave spirituals
…they’re fucking catchy
LOOORD WHEN MY TRAIN GON’ COME
makin’ fun of bitches on okc on my droid while delivering important government documents
LIKE A BOSS
Henry Miller said you should turn women into literature
but then he fucked half of Paris
so he’s not to be trusted
I think I’ll go with Mencken on this
“the great artists of the world are never puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable”
'exile, fantastic with lust' - a scene
she grabs me by the tie, and I like that. she pulls me down for a kiss like a wild animal and her mouth is hungry, savage even. she drags me down, a predator, thirsty at a watering hole. sensations drag up through my body, lashing out my limbs. raging through my nerves. the front of my shirt gapes wide, like a laughing mouth, and she bites my neck, and she is so beautiful. my body is heavy,...
'exile, fantastic with lust' part I.
lust makes a traitor of your hands, an angry fire of your blood.
falling in love with her was liking her long black hair, it was as simple as that.
when it was in the earliest hours, and striking — I could count the times I told her I loved her, like I could count my overdoses, the times I had alcohol poisoning. these were events, of notice, of great damage, that had shaped me....
set your panties for 'really depressing romantic...
g’s up, hoez down
I’m starting to realize why I’ve never worked a genuine 9-to-5 in my life, I don’t know how to party on weekends
seriously everything is crowded and all the stupid people are out in full force, no one wants to talk, it’s all just this annoying
annoyance
unfortunately it seems to be where all the action is
I’m used to spending my weekends…you know, alone,...
my lawyer psychoanalzying me is marginally acceptable
at least we’re both drunk
